'AITA for asking her to cover this bill?': Girlfriend poisons dog with grapes, her boyfriend won't split the bill

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Nov 3, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

Pets make for great company and comfort, but nothing about them is cheap—especially when they get into and eat something they weren't supposed which prompts an emergency trip to the vet. Similarly, it's important to remember that your pet has a different biology than you and often really shouldn't be eating the things that you and I are eating. Even some things you might think are okay, you'll be surprised to find they shouldn't be eating—or might even be toxic. A quick search is always the easiest solution if you're looking to feed your pet something you haven't fed them before or if it's something that you're uncertain of.

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  • This guy's girlfriend, unfortunately, discovered that their recently adopted dog loved eating grapes, feeding him copious amounts of his newfound favorite treat. When her boyfriend arrived home, he was shocked to hear her happily announcing the new discovery, and an expensive emergency trip to the vet soon followed. Now, even though they had agreed to a 50-50 split of the costs of their new friend, he doesn't want to pay for this easily avoidable expense.

    We agree with a lot of what he's saying here, and feeding the dog grapes was a really stupid thing to do, especially when the girlfriend has owned dogs before and when Google is always just a finger tap away. However, not paying now for this medical expense would set a messy precedence going forward regarding who pays for what and when. Everyone's different when it comes to handling animals but although she made a catastrophic mistake it stands to reason that the original arrangement should stand.

     

  • 01
    Posted by u/ross-buchanan 12 hours ago [ AITA for not wanting to split the £1,200 vet bill for her accidentally poisoning of our dog with grapes? My girlfriend and I recently re-homed a dog from a horrible home but everything has been going really well and he's been recovering great. Getting his first ever Vet check ups, vaccines, neutering etc and all the vet bills have been split 50:50. He is still uninsured as we still have one vaccine left (next week). Until that point any treatment we need
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  • 02
    Yesterday I got home from work my girlfriend wanted to show me "the dogs new favourite treat" - Grapes. I was shocked to say the least. So off to the emergency vets we go. The treatment we got him was the "gold standard" to reduce the risk of any long term impact on his liver/kidneys. However, this then cost £1,200.
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  • 03
    I do believe she made a genuine mistake but the way I see it, is that this is dog ownership 101. She is a dog person having had dogs her whole life. For her negligence I have had the stress of nearly losing my dog and less concerning, pay ~£600. AITA for asking her to cover this bill because she poisoned our dog?
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  • 04
    Adding info for questions: 1. Some people are reading this like I, alone, chose to go to vets and selected the treatment. Once she realised she was feeding the dog poison she was devastated and we BOTH decided to go straight to the ER vet as it was late at night (why the cost was so high). We then BOTH took the advice and went with the best course of treatment to reduce long term issues.
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  • 05
    2. We don't split all our bills. For example, the car is in my name and I take full responsibility for the finances on that. Also the flat we both live in is mine and I also take the full financial responsibility - she doesn't pay rent which I'm happy with because I love her.
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  • 06
    3. We're both professionals so the odd £600 isn't hugely determinable to our finances. For me, I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would pay it all in a heartbeat and not let her open her purse. 4. We both earn reasonably similar salaries - mine slightly higher.
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  • 07
    5. We saw diarrhoea and increased water drinking before we called the vet - very unusual for our dog. We have multiple friends who are vets and have all confirmed that what we did was the right thing to do - and they are not making any money from the fiasco.
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  • 08
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the : 1. I want to ask my partner to not split the bill 50:50. 2) We have split everything on the dog so far but this mistake seems like it is completely her fault so I shouldn't be held liable.
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  • 09
    Smaggies 8 hr. ago If you agreed 50/50, you should pay half. End of story. Otherwise, you'll have to have some ridiculous tribunal to determine whose fault it is any time the dog get himself up. She made a mistake but you're a team and you need to share the consequences. ↑ 9.0k Reply Share
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  • 10
    The MightyKoosh. 11 hr. ago You do know you can get insurance before they have their vaccines? Like the vaccines aren't covered by the insurance but emergencies will be. This was an expensive lesson to learn. 2.3k Reply Share
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  • 11
    witch_harlotte · 11 hr. ago NTA a dog person who has had dogs their whole life should know what dogs can eat and if you don't you at least know there are things dog shouldn't be eating. When I got my puppy any time I wanted to feed her something new it took 5 seconds to google "can dogs eat banana" or whatever. Sharing cost should be for unavoidable things not carelessness. 1.3k Reply Share
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  • 12
    jrm1102 11 hr. ago Prime Ministurd [491] YTA gently - I get it was a dumb mistake on her part, but this is a responsibility you two agreed to take on together and you dont get to pick and chose when you're responsible Also, you should have already had pet insurance as there's no vaccine requirement. Usually you just have a two week period for the insurance to kick in then youre good 1.2k Reply Share
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  • 13
    spiritsprite2 11 hr. ago Warn her now about not feeding him nuts. Friends didn't know you can't give all nuts to dogs just peanut is totally safe. They gave macadamia and nearly killed their dog. 578 Reply Share
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  • 14
    notwhelmed 11 hr. ago NAH - im a life long dog owner, and i still look up any food i've never fed a dog before we let the dog eat it. Once you learn that chocolate, onion, xylitol etc can kill a dog, a bit of food paranoia is important. That said, accidents happen, and while its absolutely valid you feel that she landed you in this mess, if you start apportioning cost to blame on vet bills, youre going to start doing some weird math in the future. 258 Reply Share
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  • 15
    blahdiblah234 11 hr. ago Aficionado [19] · Cut the dog in half and retain full custody of your half ✩ 240 Reply Share Leijinga 10 hr. ago Ah, the King Solomon approach! ↑ 56 ↓ Reply Share
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  • 16
    Longbooks4 11 hr. ago I'd say YTA. how would you want her to react if (and when) you made a mistake? You're supposed to be a team. Admittedly she made a perhaps pretty stupid mistake and it's frustrating especially since you just got the dog. But I think that's part of being a team. She probably feels pretty crappy about it and has learnt her lesson. However, it'd also be decent your partner at least if offered to pay the bill. Just as an acknowledgement that she's at fault. Even if you then pay
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  • 17
    fckinsleepless 12 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [20] NTA and I would honestly make her pay for the whole thing. It's a five second search to see whether or not your dog can have x food and she neglected to do that. She is responsible for giving your dog grapes. 4 156 ↓ Reply Share
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